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 A few Little johnny jokes

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Number of posts : 460
Registration date : 2009-03-24
Age : 40
Location : N.Yorkshire

PostSubject: A few Little johnny jokes   Sat 25 Apr 2009, 15:54

A man was walking down the street one day when he heard this awful noise, after looking around he spots little Johnny on a toy truck dressed as a fireman, being pulled by a Howling dog, so he decided to go over and see what the problem was.

" Hey there Johnny thats a mighty fine fire truck you have there, mind if i take a look?",

"not at all sir, be my guest" replied Johnny

Upon closer inspection the man notices that the dog has a rope attached to it's testicles and this is how its pullingthe cart, feeling sorry for the dog the man turns to Johnny and says

" Thats pretty impressive kid, but you'd go alot faster if you attached the rope to the dog's collar "

" Thats true" replied Johnny " but then i wouldnt have a siren"


Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic School.

After the first day, little Johnny comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying.
Books & papers are spread out all over the room and little Johnny is hard at work. His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before.
This goes on for sometime, day after day while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Johnny brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math. She can no longer hold her curiosity.

She goes to his room and says: Son, what was it? Was it the nuns? Little Tommy looks at her and shakes his head. Well, then, she replies, was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it? Little Johnny looks at her and says,

Well, on the first day of school, I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't f**king around


A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on a plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"


'The way i see it is, the more of them i kill, the higher my chances of survival are'
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HollowPoint \DD/


Number of posts : 222
Registration date : 2009-02-14
Age : 33
Location : Pennsylvania, USA

PostSubject: Re: A few Little johnny jokes   Sat 25 Apr 2009, 17:21

Quote :
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

ROFLMAO That is some funny asz shiza to be said from little Johnny
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